It’s Thursday. Can you believe the election was only nine days ago? It feels like we’ve lived a lifetime since then.

• Trump’s attorney general pick puts Republican senators in a bind.
• Gaetz resigned right before a key House Ethics Committee vote on him.
• The Onion bought Alex Jones’s “Infowars” in its bankruptcy auction(!)
• Amazon is launching a Temu competitor.

I’m Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what’s coming up. Send tips, commentary, feedback and cookie recipes to cmartel@thehill.com. Did someone forward this newsletter to you? Sign up here.  

©  GIPHY/The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

President-elect Trump’s administration picks got off to a relatively noncontroversial start:

• Susie Wiles, a well-respected GOP operative for White House chief of tstaff.
• Elise Stefanik (R-N.Y.) should glide through her confirmation for U.N. ambassador.
• Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) was an unsurprising pick for secretary of State.

Then, things got a little less conventional: Trump nominated Fox News host Pete Hegseth for secretary of Defense. His choice raised eyebrows and angered the defense world. Five things to know about Pete Hegseth

Trump then said ~hold my beer~: Trump tapped former Democratic Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (Hawaii) — who eventually switched from Democrat to Independent and then to Republican — to serve as his director of national intelligence and Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) as his attorney general. You could hear the collective gasp across Washington when the Gaetz news broke.

First, why Gabbard is so controversial for the role: She has never worked in the intelligence world and has been accused of promoting Russian propaganda. In her role, she would be responsible for putting together the President’s Daily Brief needed to make important national security decisions. She will likely have a tough time being confirmed.

OK, now Gaetz … : Gaetz is one of the most controversial and criticized members in Congress by both Democrats and Republicans. (If I only could have been in the room with Kevin McCarthy to see his reaction.)  He was the subject of a Justice Department sex-trafficking investigation involving a minor. That probe concluded with no charges, and he denies the allegations.

Gaetz immediately resigned from his House seat after Trump announced the AG pick. That’s not the norm. Usually, a nominee would keep their seat just in case they cannot get confirmed by the Senate. 

But there’s another piece to this: Gaetz has been the subject of a House Ethics Committee probe. Punchbowl News first reported that the Ethics Committee was set to meet on Friday to vote on whether to release a “highly damaging” report on its findings. But Gaetz’s speedy resignation from Congress grinds that to an immediate halt — it’s no longer the committee’s jurisdiction. Read more on Gaetz’s resignation

💡 The role of attorney general is one of the most important for an administration. A president’s attorney general is responsible for implementing the president’s agenda and defending it in court.

Former Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) predicted that Gaetz will not get confirmed in the Senate. “I think the choices are very good, except one,” McCarthy told Bloomberg Television.

Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) expressed his concern for Gaetz’s nomination, calling this a “red alert moment for American democracy.”

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) wants his colleagues to “give Matt a chance.”

Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) criticized the Gaetz pick as a “middle finger to Democrats and sane Republicans.” More Democrats expressing concern

Former national security adviser John Bolton wants FBI investigations into Gaetz and Gabbard before their confirming hearings.

📹 Watch ‘The Daily Show’ segment on Gaetz last night

• NBC News: ‘Hitting government with a “blowtorch”: Trump's Cabinet picks are the first step in carrying out his agenda’
• CNN: ‘Why Trump is trying to outrage Washington with his controversial Cabinet picks’
• The New York Times: ‘Matt Gaetz, a Bomb-Thrower for the Justice Department’
• The Washington Post: ‘Trump pick resurfaces questions about Tulsi Gabbard’s 2017 Syria visit’

President-elect Trump was handed the gift of a Washington trifecta when he returns to the White House in January. But he’s bringing a few unnecessary complications:

No. 1 — He’s giving himself confirmation troubles: He has a comfortable 53-seat Senate majority that would confirm all of his Cabinet picks within reason. But he’s made a few picks that may *not* be within reason for Republicans. Senate Republicans just elected Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.) as majority leader and the successor to outgoing GOP Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.). Now, Thune already has his first major headache of how to give Trump the Cabinet he wants.

No. 2 — He's plucking Republicans from the tight House majority: Republicans will have a narrow majority in the House. Trump is pulling several of his administration picks from the lower chamber, temporarily making the majority even narrower. Don’t nominate yourself into the minority!

• Marco Rubio (R-Fla.): Secretary of State
• Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.): Attorney general
• Former Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (Hawaii): Director of national intelligence
• Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R): U.S. ambassador to Israel

©  GIPHY/Debby Ryan

“Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy are set to take the reins of the brand new 'Department of Government Efficiency' (DOGE) under President-elect Trump — a panel with bold ambitions of slashing government costs and restructuring federal agencies.”

Yes, but: The Hill’s Julia Shapero and Miranda Nazzaro spoke with experts who explain it will likely face many roadblocks in accomplishing its goals.

Lol: “There’s the executive branch that might be in their way. The Congress might be in their way. The Constitution is a bit of an obstacle,” said Douglas Holtz-Eakin, president of American Action Forum. “Other than that, clear sailing,” he told The Hill.

Read more: How this department will work from what we know

Corporate mega-stores are pushing the ultimate hypocrisy. They want backdoor price controls to save money on credit card services they use, but have certainly increased prices on American families for essentials like eggs and milk. Don’t be fooled — learn how they flip-flop on government price controls. 

©  GIPHY/ Late Night with Seth Meyers

Satirical news outlet The Onion won the bankruptcy auction to purchase Alex Jones’s right-wing, conspiracy-laden website Infowars.

What The Onion plans to do with it: Rebuild the website as a parody of itself.

💡 Back story: Jones built a media empire around right-wing conspiracy theories. He falsely claimed the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting was a hoax, which led to several of the victims’ families suing Jones. The families won, and Jones was forced to sell Infowars to pay the estimated $1.5 billion in damages. The families gave The Onion their blessing.  Full explainer

📹 Watch Alex Jones make the announcement

🥑 Celebrate: Today is National Spicy Guac Day!

🍼This NYT article has sparked quite the debate: The New York Times published an article on the “unspoken grief” parents are feeling when their children decide against having children. Read: ‘The Unspoken Grief of Never Becoming a Grandparent’

📦 Amazon launched a Temu competitor: Amazon unveiled its discount shopping option with items shipping directly from China. (CNBC)

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The House and Senate are in. President Biden is on his way to Peru, and Vice President Harris is in Washington. (all times Eastern)

• This morning: Biden left for Lima, Peru.
• This morning: A House hearing on preparing for future pandemics. 💻 Livestream
• 1:45 p.m.: First and last House votes. 📆 Today’s agenda
• 5:45 p.m.: Biden lands in Lima.

Have you ever seen a dog take another dog for a walk? Now you have!

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